When It Hurts, It Sticks: Why Painful Practice Builds Strong Foundations

Julian Zheng
Aug 25
3 min read

It’s Sunday morning—my only rest day.

For those who don’t know me, I work full-time during the week and teach at 5imple Learning every Saturday. It’s my passion to help 5-year-olds build the strongest foundation possible before they head into Primary School.

But today, Sunday, I’m not resting. I’m doing something every parent eventually has to face:

👉 Helping my child with something I’m not confident in.

Emma is 6 years old. Her primary school is already decided, but we’re nervous about her Chinese. My wife and I aren’t trained in Chinese education. I’m an expert in English and Math, but when it comes to Chinese... I'm learning too. And yes, I’d love to learn how to teach it well.

🔢 But today’s challenge wasn’t Chinese—it was 2-digit multiplication.

This was Emma’s first time doing 2-digit multiplication. I had planned 10 pages of worksheets. It may sound like a lot, but I knew she was ready.

Before we started, we reviewed:

Her multiplication tables (surprisingly smooth),
Her addition (a complete nightmare).

We spent an entire week on addition review. There were tears, frustration, and tension.

But here’s the truth that most parents don’t hear enough:

Forgetting is normal.Struggling is normal.Pain is not failure—it’s learning in disguise.

When a child struggles to recall something, and we push them to fight for it—that’s called “effortful retrieval.”It’s one of the most powerful tools in memory science. The harder the brain works to recall, the deeper the memory sticks.

😣 So yes, it was painful.

Emma and I spent 90 minutes on those worksheets. She got through 8 out of 10 pages. It wasn’t easy—she wanted to stop many times. The old me—the “expert me”—would’ve insisted we finish all 10.

But today, I chose differently.

I saw that she had tried her best. I saw the fatigue in her eyes. And I remembered: this is not a sprint. This is a marathon of mastery.

So I gave her a discount. Not because I was going soft, but because I trusted something deeper:

That her brain would consolidate this struggle in her sleep.

It sounds like magic. And in a way, it is.

✨ The Next Morning: Magic Happens

Right now, I’m writing this blog with Emma beside me.

No reminders. No instructions. No help.

She’s finishing those same worksheets—and getting them all right.

No tears. No tantrums. Just quiet, steady work. It’s like the pain from yesterday unlocked something.

This is the “sleep effect.”When a child learns something hard and sleeps on it, their brain works overnight to sort, process, and strengthen that learning.

❤️ A Note to Fellow Parents

If your child is struggling, Push them—gently but firmly. Let them try. Let them fail. Let them wrestle.

But also, know when to stop.

Give them space. Let them rest. Let the brain do its job.

More often than not, they’ll come back stronger. And they’ll surprise you.

This is the exact technique I use at 5imple. It’s why our students build such strong foundations. And honestly—I wish I had more time with them. Because when given the chance, they can go so much further.